Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Grocery gangs

M:  I make Peapod leave the food on my stoop.
C:  They just leave it on your stoop?  Aren't you afraid that, left alone, it will be the victim of gang violence?
M:  We has gangs!  Bloods and Crips!
C:  When I was a kid, I thought that Crips was a gang comprised solely of people in wheelchairs.  No shit.  And they'd be all "Bitch, fuck with me and I'll run over your punkass!"  Cuz, you know... that's how they roll.
M:  I was more afraid of the NY zodiac killer as a kid than gangs.
C:  :(
M:  Brb, have delivery of stuffs.  Don't want gangs to get my loot.
C:  Hide yo eggs!  Hide yo bread loaves!

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