M: I make Peapod leave the food on my stoop.
C: They just leave it on your stoop? Aren't you afraid that, left alone, it will be the victim of gang violence?
M: We has gangs! Bloods and Crips!
C: When I was a kid, I thought that Crips was a gang comprised solely of people in wheelchairs. No shit. And they'd be all "Bitch, fuck with me and I'll run over your punkass!" Cuz, you know... that's how they roll.
M: I was more afraid of the NY zodiac killer as a kid than gangs.
C: :(
M: Brb, have delivery of stuffs. Don't want gangs to get my loot.
C: Hide yo eggs! Hide yo bread loaves!
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